Friday, August 1, 2008

Broken Down, Again (The Car and My Spirit)

We are broken down on the side of the road as I type this. It is 10:30 pm Pacific time. The tow truck won't be here for two hours.

We arrived in Portland about 6 p.m. We saw the house that we will be moving in to tomorrow. We checked into a hotel. We went to dinner. We were on our way to Kinko's so I could print out my letter to the warranty company (to try to get reimbursed for the over 1k we just shelled out to fix the car) and fax it off, when. . . the coolant light came on again. Pretty weird considering we just paid over 1k to get the reservoir and radiator repaired. The temperature gauge immediately began to shoot up. We pulled over and had some extra water with us for this very purpose. We poured it in and guess what? It came gushing out of the bottom of the car in four different places. That is bad. That is really bad considering that this is what happened last Saturday, and we just paid over 1k to repair it. (Have I mentioned yet that just we paid over 1k to repair this very problem?)

I know it could be worse. At least we made it to Portland. And thank goodness it wasn't anything having to do with our health, a crime committed against us, or a family emergency. (Gene and I had already decided during the first breakdown that those problems would be waaaaay worse on the scale of bad things that could happen on a trip like this.)

But having said that, I still feel pretty awful. That hollow feeling in your gut and then the sensation of your heart dropping down into it. . . I've felt that too many times in the past few days, and then again tonight. Is someone trying to tell us something about Portland? Are we not meant to be here? Why is this happening? Is it just bad luck, or something more?

I'm so confused, sad, and mad at myself for feeling this upset, when I know it could be so much worse. And my heart hurts. It is hard to be far away from home and family and everything that I know; and those feelings of lonesomeness and fear and worry intensify infinitely when dealing with a problem like this. Gene's folks can't come pick us up. We can't borrow their extra truck. We don't have a friend to call. We are totally on our own. And it's hard.

Hope you all are doing well. We do miss you.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Miss Holly again. This time almost in tears thinking about brave Lisa and Gene feeling so stressed far away from home. I'm sending lots of virtual hugs, and when I get an address, a tightly wrapped pound cake will follow. (pound cake won't fix cars, heel toothless rabid dogs, or smack down mean car repairman who yell at the sweetest people in the world, but it's good for most everything else.) I've been sad and upset this week and yesterday someone reminded me that your real personal growth happens in times of adversity. YEAH, right! That didn't really make me feel better either, but it was worth a try. I've been thinking about you every day and I'm glad you're there safely. Some of what you're feeling may be exhaustion and the leftover stress from the town from hell. Rest, hug each other since we can't be there to give you hugs and feel better!
love you,
Miss Holly